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27 March

Biscuits

Worrall snuck open her desk draw carefully, revealing a packet of Walkers ‘Homebake Recipe’ Shortbread Fingers. There weren’t many left, a terrible tribute to Worrall’s gluttony given she had only bought them yesterday and they had actually been meant as a ‘thank you’ gift for an American colleague.

She wanted desperately to avoid sharing them with her colleagues.

A loud cough and a practiced twist of her fingers managed to ply one of the buttery treats from its cardboard home. Hmmm… a nice treat for elevenses, thought Worrall as she took her first bite. Pure but guilty bliss – this was going straight to her thighs. Taking a small sip of tea (no milk, she was watching her weight) she looked around at her colleagues. 4 people less than a metre from her. They had no idea. Ha ha ha haaaaa. It was these little pettinesses that made coming to work worthwhile.

Beth makes her debut into the podosphere

One of the most inspiring, interesting people I have met so far working in the UK, is Monsieur Pete Cogle.
 
I love his podshow and have become an avid fan of his eclectic mix of music.
 
Most excitingly, Pete interviewed me last night for his 101'st show. So much fun!
 
The podcast is LIVE tomorrow morning, so tune in and let me know what you think!
 

Hello to all at the UP Australia Conference

Next week my friends and colleagues are putting together the UP Australia Conference. Unfortunately I can't attend (I am shivering half way across the world!) but I know that it's going to be an excellent, inspiring and educational experience for all.
 
The more I learn of other UP projects around the world, the more inspired I become by the work that is happening in Australia. We are really leading the way!
 
I understand there won't be a boat cruise karaoke event this time round, but I am sure it'll be a blast anyway!
 
For more on the conference, please see Mike's blog or Frank Arrigo's blog or search technorati for upconf2007
08 December

Why go to the gym when you can get an equally effective workout by catching a London Bus.

Grip, brace, clench, hold, clutch, seize and pray. It’s just like Body Pump but you get this workout by catching a bus during peak-hour traffic in and around London. Bus drivers drive in the most amazing manner here. Regardless of how gridlocked the traffic is they duck, weave, accelerate and (abruptly) brake as elegantly as any Premier League Footballer. The only thing is, on the inside it is nowhere near as glamorous. Commuters must hold on for dear life as the bus jerks down the road, stopping and starting at terrifying speeds. Very often there is nothing to hold on to. What can be done?

However. I have to admit, if i was a bus driver, i’d drive like that too.

07 December

angry scenes at the british post office

Worrall snuck into the Soho Post Office, feeling quietly smug as the lunch hour had not yet started and she would be sure to miss the crowds as she arranged for her Christmas card postal delivery.

She was, however, entirely unprepared for the scenes that immediately confronted her.

The seemingly endless queue writhed around the tiny, sweating space. It was almost as if Euro Disney had gathered all of its angry, impatient crowds waiting for a 3 minute entertainment ride at the end of a long Saturday in August and piled them all into this one terrible place.  

Muttering all the swears she could remember, and even inventing some herself, Worrall detected the end of the queue and began the arduous process of ‘who could break first’. Minutes ticked by. Seasons passed. Worrall began to display the seven signs of aging. Perhaps the most irritating thing during this ordeal was the pre-recorded voices that chirped ‘please proceed to cashier 3 please’, ‘please proceed to cashier 6 please’ in alternate male and female voices, both of which were pronounced with a false brightness that made Worrall believe: ‘I am in hell’.

A loud crash broke the hostile silence – a large plinth had collapsed to the ground, spewing forth a variety of festive detritus. The elderly man who had narrowly missed an appointment with his maker exclaimed to all those that would listen “That was a deliberate attempt on my life!”

Worrall shrugged. The old man had a point. Perhaps it was. The Post Office obviously could not keep up with the demand and had to control crowds somehow.

Several hours later Worrall stumbled out of the Post Office. Sweet freedom at last. Next year she’d use pigeons.

14 July

Bulwer Lytton - I made it!

Ok, it’s only a (dis)honourable mention but LOOK! The international Bulwer Lytton competition entries have been announced:
 
http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2006.htm
 
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